Heeeey eeverybody!
I 👏 am 👏 sick 👏👏👏
Why? Because I'm a legend. I hike and run 60 miles in a week and then go listen to live music till 1 am. And because I'm a legend, I hiked and ran 60 miles a week, went out two nights in a row, and did not see this coming. He's incredible, isn't he, folks? Aaaah. Yep. I'm sik. And the C key keeps stikking. So expekt some Russianesque spelling this blog post.
The thing about being sik on an island that you've already explored pretty well is this: you don't care so muh. There's still an island out there, and at this point you know each other well enough that you can just call it up (there's a charge for calling from a US phone, but it's all right). You call up the Isle of Skye (+44 800 MYSTIC ISLAND), and it picks up after five rings.
SKYE: Hchaeilodh? [Skye speaks in Gaelic, which is like a language but if there was a national mandate that all words had to be at least 40% silent letters.]
ME: Hey Skye, may I say you're looking exceptionally fine today?
SKYE: Thaenking yiouiu, I haieve bane meoisteraizing.
ME: Moisturizing? What with?
SKYE: Tourischts.
ME:
SKYE:
ME: Er, right. Well.
SKYE: Whaet are yiouoiou cawleng abooit?
ME: Yes, I'll get to that in a second, but I just wanted to mention--no particular reason--but I've been told by doctors that I'm unusually arid.
SKYE: Izhthait soidh?
ME: Practically desiccated. Two dermatologists have looked me dead in the eyes and said I'm made of the least rejuvenating material they've ever seen.
SKYE: Ai'me nawt gaingng to yews uiu to meoisteraize.
ME: No?
SKYE: Yet.
ME: Right. So. Right. Anyway, I'm afraid I have to call in sick today. Instead of summiting misty peaks and looking out upon a landscape I never thought existed outside Lord of the Rings while thinking deep mature thoughts, I'm going to sit in a bottom bunk and not watch Netflix because the Wi-Fi sucks.
SKYE: Feyn.
ME: So we're cool?
SKYE: Yeah.
ME:
SKYE: don't look behind you
ME: Huh?
SKYE: *click*
So yeah, I'm spending the day in. Called some friends, napped a bit, now I'm writing a blog post. (This you may have surmised.)
Yep.
Yep.
Filling the space. Just fiiiiilling the space.
Filling thdon't look behind youe space.
:)
When you go to college, and in general when you enter each new stage of your life, you should start a blog to document the experience and not share it with anyone who is part of that setting.
ReplyDeleteI say "you should" not as an annoyingly presumptuous parent of a young adult, but as your literary agent.
In particular, I'd take steps to ensure the Isle of Skye doesn't read this blog.
Nice. Good call. Why do you think I haven't told you about mylifeasahumansewer.wordpress.com?
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