Bye to Skye

My deepest apologies for not posting yesterday. I wrote a lot of a new story, then I spent a long time making a dinner that received the sharp end of a malfunctioning salt-shaker lid, then I went out to watch five aging Scottish men perform the popular pop-country tune "Wagon Wheel", which then made me want to die or go to bed. I chose the latter and am proud to report I got a full nine hours. It does leave us short one blog post, for which I will somehow forgive myself one day.

Today is a little bit sad. I'm leaving in the morning for a night in Inverness, before continuing onto Glasgow for two nights, Liverpool for two more, and Snowdonia until the 25th. I'm saying goodbye to Skye, which has been my home these last fifteen days. When I came here, the island seemed huge, and self tiny. Now the island is large, and I'm medium-sized. I've learned loads in just these few weeks. For example, I can now feed myself well and healthily for an average of £17.64 ($23.08) per day. Even though I haven't been able to run for the last week (chest infection, hooray), I've kept the same approximate shape, with little to no stomachic expansion, by eating mostly whole foods and very little processed sugar. The money I've saved by living light is, in my eye, extra money that I can spend as I wish. This is very exciting.

I've also learned how to present myself as a social unit, rather than part of a family or friend group. I'm better at talking to people than ever (which, if I do say so myself (and I do), is saying something). I've made tons of friends, local and foreign, and I think everyone I've talked to liked me. Being engaging and deferential is a good thing to make a habit of.

Interesting side note: I've also had my derriere complimented by a plurality of drunk Scottish women. They were all harmless, and the compliment was almost maternal, strange as that sounds. I told them that they can replicate my results through jogging and clean living, and that my self-help book ("American Booty: How To Look Like the Polite Foreign Lad in Three Months or Less!") is available in e-book and paperback for £13.99 on Amazon Prime. (I didn't really. I just made that up.)

The views on this island have been legendary, so picturesque that for a while, I refused to believe they were really real. Oh come on, I would think. That's a bit unrealistic, don't you think? And indeed, the island does possess a mythic aura that I'll miss, and the views, once I registered that they were really there, were the best I've ever seen. The people have been kind, and mostly named Ian. A few Floras in there as well, but predominantly, this island is populated by Ians. The Highland Ian is a special breed of man, usually short and rail-thin, with teeth that put one in mind of horrific car accidents, and a heart of gold and nicotine. Very friendly and self-sufficient, all they require for survival is the highland air and a dram of something I could never drink. I dedicate my time on Skye to the Ians, Floras, Aussies, and sundry kind old ladies and gents that made my visit so magical. I also dedicate it to Amanda Palmer, who has ancestors here and whose music sounds even better on a Lord of the Rings back road with improbable mountains rising up on either side.